An influential exploration of youth ministry that argues against ministry as something we 'do' to someone else. Instead, it is approached as 'a holy way of living toward God and toward one another' (1998: 9). The writers argue for a shift from a focus on program to relational ministry: 'contact ministry, showing up, hanging out, earning the right to be heard' (ibid.: 26) and then on to incarnational ministry.
Using relationships for the sake of meeting developmental needs represents a misguided concept of church. Youth ministry focuses on relationships, not only because of who teenagers are but because of who God is. God is a relationship - Christian tradition uses the relational language of Father, Son and Holy Spirit to describe the persons of the Trinity - and this God's love is so generous that the Godhead alone cannot contain it. Significant relationships with other Christians matter because they teach us something about what God is like - the One who can love us in spite of ourselves and who loves us passionately enough to suffer willingly on our behalf.
For this reason, we prefer the term incarnational to relational when we speak of ministry. Anybody can have a relationship but only God takes on flesh in the incarnation of Jesus Christ. Kenda Creasy Dean and Ron Foster (1998) The Godbearing Life, page 27
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